Where to start after being at Wembley Stadium on Sunday evening?
Firstly, we’ll deal with the sport.
Congratulations to Italy.
Worthy Euro 2020 winners with a fine side after beating England 3-2 on penalties following a tumultuous 1-1 draw after extra time.
We also have to say a big well done to Gareth Southgate and each and every single one of his squad and backroom staff for the wonderful journey they’ve taken us on this summer.
Yes it was an opportunity missed, even if the best team emerged victorious. The match was also a reminder of just how cruel the beautiful game can be, certainly for our young players who missed their spot kicks.
But we have to look at the bigger picture. This fabulous young and diverse squad has played a huge part in uniting a fractured and fractious nation this summer, albeit brief if wonderful few weeks.
After 18 long months of this interminable Covid pandemic and the fears and uncertainty around it, the Three Lions have given us something to cheer about and to smile about.
We also have to put things in perspective in sporting terms.
Five years ago we lost to Iceland, in a humiliating defeat that led to Southgate’s appointment via Roy Hodgson’s departure and Sam Allardyce’s greed.
Three years ago under Southgate we reached a World Cup semi-final. Now we’ve kicked on even further and are competing in the final of the European Championships.
Southgate is a humble, articulate, emotionally intelligent man, whose marshalling of his young squad has made us all proud, while also giving us hope and making us dream.
We salute you.
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We love you Bukayo, Marcus and Jadon
A special well done to Bukayo Saka, Marcus Rashford and Jadon Sancho. We win as a team, we lose as a team.
No blame whatsoever can be attached to England’s talented trio.
I can only speak as someone who has watched and reported on Saka since he was a young teenager and his intelligence - on and off the pitch - talent, technique and temperament are second to none. On top of all that he is a great lad.
To see Southgate be one of the first to comfort Saka, 25 years on from his own Wembley penalty heartbreak (after first generously congratulating Roberto Mancini on victory in the aftermath) was as moving as the image will become iconic in years to come.
Southgate, more than most will have felt Saka’s pain. And it was as heartening as it was true to form that the England boss took full responsibility for the miss, absolving the young gun completely, adding powerfully: ‘We heal together as a team.’
We love you Saka
You’ll always be loved at The Arsenal, Bukayo, and not one Gooner will ever think any less of you.
You made us proud. You always make us proud. And we’ll stand by you, always.
We can’t wait to have you back to give you a heroes welcome back in N5.
The longest walk
I used to think the longest walk was a batsman walking from (or to) the crease.
Having been at the national stadium on Sunday evening I now know that not to be true.
For the longest walk in sport is leaving the comforting embrace of your teammates in the centre circle to head, all alone, to the penalty area, in front of more than 60,000 fans and millions - if not billions - watching all around the world.
So, to take a penalty in those circumstances takes courage, nerve and bravery.
And to criticise the trio in sporting terms is just plain wrong. But something far deeper and darker emerged shortly afterwards.
Zero tolerance against racists
Moments after the miss - and with such depressing predictability - disgusting racists aimed disgusting racist abuse at the three, in unforgivable actions that were beyond reprehensible.
To abuse someone because of the colour of their skin is as abhorrent as it is ignorant, as shameful as it is unacceptable.
If your first instinct is to denigrate someone because of the colour of their skin, then I pity you.
Where do we go from here?
Which is why there has to be zero tolerance on racists. In the street and on social media. There has to be prosecutions. There has to be jail time.
Then re-education. Make the guilty spend time with victims of racism. Make them see how wrong their actions are. And how damaging they can be.
Football is at the centre of wider societal issues relating to racism, yet we all have to be stronger. In our personal reactions through our public revulsion at such dreadful acts, but social media platforms have to be stronger too.
Root out the racists through algorithms
The fallout this morning from the shocking racist abuse is depressing. Twitter said they suspended many accounts after detecting more than 1,000 racist tweets. But it’s a bit late, isn’t it?
I know nothing about algorithms
But don’t tell me that social media companies can’t regulate racist comments via their algorithms when the same algorithms force feed me advertisements on my timelines for stuff I’ve only been thinking about - such as trainers and t-shirts, for example - when I haven’t googled them or even spoken about them.
Don’t tell me the technology isn’t there to root out the racists. Because it is there.
The only thing missing is the will to do so from these corporate behemoths.
This is why we take the knee
I’ve written about the talking the knee on many occasions since it became a potent symbol demanding equality and an end to racism.
Quite simply if you boo the knee you are revealing yourself to be a racist. You are basically saying that you do not believe in equality.
You do not believe that black people and people from ethnic minority backgrounds such as myself deserve to be treated exactly the same as others.
Yet the reaction from the unspeakable Priti Patel and the shameless Boris Johnson at the start of the tournament empowered racists.
It empowered them to continue to boo the knee just as it empowers them to continue to shower racist abuse online.
Taking the knee is not 'an empty gesture’ as the Tory politicians said.
It is a powerful symbol of solidarity with those who still suffer racism on a daily basis.
It is also a powerful symbol of solidarity with Saka, Rashford and Sancho. To send a message to the world that racist abuse is simply not acceptable.
That is why we take the knee.
And that is why we will continue to take the knee and applaud taking the knee. It’s too important not to.
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My first hand experience of the shambles outside Wembley
I grew up watching football in the 1980s.
I went to football matches during the nadir of that decade that heavily featured terrace violence, decrepit stadiums, a lack of organisation or duty of care from clubs and relevant authorities, along with unenlightened attitudes from politicians and police.
To attend a football match back then was to take a risk.
Unfortunately, it felt like that on Sunday when Wembley morphed into an apocalyptic vision of a dystopian future.
From the moment I got to Wembley Park tube - a suburban station tacked onto a multi billion pound, 90,000 capacity stadium, a decaying transport interchange that is simply not fit for purpose on big days such as yesterday.
There was no organisation anywhere at the tube. There was a serious crush. People were packed into tight areas with no signage. I saw a man behind me vomit because of the lack of space.
I eventually emerged through the ticket barriers and told the single TfL person that it was unsafe. The friend I was with went further, sending a complaint to the British Transport Police about the situation.
I can only liken it to being jammed in an away terrance at somewhere like the old White Hart Lane in the 1980s.
I was glad to get away from the tube on Sunday.
Ticketless hordes rush the gates
But walking down the steps and under the bridge and onto Wembley Way it became clear that there were a lot of seriously drunk people in and around the national stadium.
It was beyond drunkeness. I described it in a tweet at the time as ‘euphoria bordering on frenzy.’
People were insensible through excess alcohol consumption. I saw young, and not so young men, passed out on the floor, presumably in a drunken coma hours before kick-off.
And as you made your way to the expected ticket checks, you suddenly realised there were an awful amount of people there without tickets.
Some were there to simply soak up the atmosphere, but a considerable number of ticketless young men appeared intent on trying to gain entry by illegal means.
As the crush got worse towards the steps, I could see a number - 10 or 15 perhaps, though reports and video suggest there were far more - clambering over the side wall, thus circumventing the perimeter and racing onto the concourse outside the turnstiles.
A man squashed next to me said: “I’ve followed England all over the world. I’ve been to nine tournaments. But this is a f******* shambles. People are going to get hurt.”
As we continued to squeeze forward a steward in a high vis with fear in his eyes urged me to move through the non-existent checks at the bottom of the steps.
No ticket checks - no Covid checks
This meant the results of the Covid tests thousands of people undertook in the build up to the game were ignored - with all the possible public health issues that could result from that worrying fact.
They also failed to check digital tickets. Which meant that for many who were unsure of the technology, when they eventually got to the turnstiles, they couldn’t activate their tickets properly, leading to further bottlenecks.
Along with the fact that wi-fi was patchy in even attempting to download the ticket onto your phone.
And that was without even mentioning your very real fear that someone would snatch your phone - and by implication your prized ticket - from your hand or pocket during the unbridled melee.
I saw skirmishes between ticketless youths and genuine fans, just as I saw stewards melt away, either too scared, or too impotent to halt the flow of errant groups.
The police that were there had a difficult job
But no-one seemed to know anything. There didn’t seem to be a plan or contingency for such disturbing outcomes that were unfolding in front of my very eyes.
I made my way round to Gate K around 645pm, which is where my ticket indicated I should go for entry. It was beyond a shambles. There was a crush of fans. Rumours abounded.
Had the Wembley authorities purposely shut the gates? Had they instigated their own form of lockdown in a bid to stop ticketless fans from gaining entry?
If so it was a mistake. Because it simply allowed larger crowds to congregate, while fermenting agitation and frustration.
Unable to even open my ticket on my phone I dropped back to see if I could get wi-fi at the back of the outdoor concise overlooking Wembley Arena.
It was then I saw a group force open a door at Gate E and the mayhem that ensued.
Police chased the culprits, while confused reigned. A friend sent me video footage inside looking at that very entrance. It wasn’t nice.
Fights took place between those who were legitimately there and those who didn’t have tickets, as stewards scattered, and police sought to gain control.
It was as unedifying as it was unsettling.
At around 7.15pm, it appeared that the turnstiles started working again and I made it through the unmanned, automated entrances to the escalators that would take me to the upper tier, after a deeply unpleasant experience in attempting to beat the crush.
Tempers were running high on the escalators. Heated arguments took place between fans, and between fans and stewards as the escalator took us to Wembley’s higher levels.
There was just time for me to find my seat before Shaw scored and the crowd erupted in ear-splitting delirium, prompting as an intense outpouring of joy as any goal I have ever celebrated.
All Played Out
I won’t discuss the game itself.
You know the details. I’ll save that for another time, suffice to say that the racist abuse of our heroes that followed penalties, severely tainted the occasion.
No wonder Southgate said earlier today that he needed a holiday before gearing up for the 2022 World Cup.
Because he was All Played Out.
As I feel today having invested so much emotionally on these incredible, heart-warming, heart-stopping, joyous, frustrating, maddening, perplexing and ultimately heart-breaking few weeks we’ll never forget.
Looking further forward, the country is hoping to stage a tournament in nine years.
A bid for the World Cup of 2030? No thanks. Not the way I feel today. Not for so many reasons.
Not until we target the racists that shame us all.
@laythy29
I was there too I’m also old enough to have attended football matches in the 70s and 80s and my experience reminded me again of those bad times. Only attending the Emirates and with Arsenals inclusivity brought me back to live football, I am female and it was very scary for me back then and on Sunday. I will never attend an England game again and will think twice about returning to Wembley. All your observations and feelings were exactly the same as mine from the tube to Wembley way to the stadium. Totally unacceptable. I’m just grateful there wasn’t a bigger tragedy which could do easily have happened.