Inside the mind of a sporting obsessive

From Rangers vs Arsenal to Stotfold vs Biggleswade Town in the blink of an eye...

No dice with Rangers accreditation in the age of Covid.

In a way I'm slightly relieved because as anyone who knows me will attest to the fact I leave things to the last minute. A lot.

For example, with Hibernian FC not confirming my pass until late on Monday, I had to act fast to get to Edinburgh earlier this week. As it turned out the plane was cheaper than the train. Which is why I flew.

Expecting a late reply again regarding a yay or a nay for Rangers, I went to Lord's on Friday evening to cover my beloved Middlesex CCC.

While a trip to Lord's is a magical occasion no matter what, the team lost by a huge margin of 77 runs to Kent.

Kudos to former Seaxe Harry Podmore, now plying his trade with Kent, for taking two wickets on his return to his old stamping ground.

I should also mention Harry is the nephew of an old schoolfriend of mine, which doesn't half make me feel old.

Anyway, the plan was to head back home from Lord's and then drive the eight hours or so to Glasgow overnight, as the trains or planes I needed had mostly been booked up.

I love a long night drive, motoring overnight to Rennes vs Arsenal and Eintract Frankfurt vs Arsenal under Unai Emery spring to mind.

However, with no word from my desk about Rangers confirmation the decision was made for me.

Which is why I'll be at a BBQ this afternoon.

How the mind of a sports obssesive works

I'll give you a quick idea.

So, with a spare Saturday afternoon now upon me, you'd think that would be that. But you'd be wrong.

A BBQ on a sunny day with my girlfriend and pals is a Good Thing, no?

But my sporting addiction is so strong I still need my fix.

Here's how the brain of a sporting obssesive works

The BBQ we are heading to this afternoon (around kick-off I note) is in Biggleswade, Bedfordshire.

It's being hosted by my wonderful girlfriend's cousin and her boyfriend. Lovely people, lovely couple, it will be fun and I am looking forward to it.

So says the social part of my brain.

The one that deals with socialising, social contact and life in general.

And then there's the sports obsessive part of my brain.

The part that forces me to miss friends and family birthdays, weddings, christenings, parties, and even, I say with no pride whatsoever, funerals, in order to be at sporting events as a punter or to work at sporting events as a sports journalist.

A gremlin in my pysche, the spectre at the feast, the devil on my shoulder.

I am thankful in a way. Because if I didn't have the former part of my brain, (ie the good part) in working order, I'm not sure what would be left.

Give it a few weeks and I very much believe that if you stumbled across me with only the sporting obssesive part of my brain working, I genuinely fear you would find a wide-eyed, wild-eyed bearded hermit, sitting naked in my own faecies re-reading the official match programme from the friendly between Arsenal and Hibernian at Highbury in October 1952, while intoning the names of the Hibees Famous Five in a hypnotic litany.

Anyone for Biggleswade Town FC?

So, immediately I googled to check if Biggleswade Town have a fixture on Saturday afternoon that I could perhaps go to. Somehow.

Maybe if we run out of burgers at the BBQ I could valiantly volunteer to head out to the shops to purchase further supplies and furtively catch the Biggleswade game. But 90 minutes is a long time to wait for a burger.

Even if it still wouldn’t be as bad as the Scottish fan who told his wife he was popping out for a pint of milk only to keep going. All the way to the 1978 Word Cup. In Argentina.

Biggleswade Town away

However, much to my disappointment BTFC were away.

To Stotfold. Now, my boy plays for Stotfold Juniors. It's a fine club with good people. Former Hitchin Town (and Biggleswade Town) striker Brett Donnelly now manages them.

Brett's a good bloke and was a beast of a centre-forward. Think Billy Whitehurst and Dean Windass mixed with Terry Hurlock and you'll get my drift.

It would also be good to catch up with him as he's a genuinely funny bloke.

With my regional editor/local journalism hat on I also ponder that it would be good to interview him for a pre-season piece on top of a match report and player ratings.

So I immediately think: I wonder if I can go to Stotfold vs Biggleswade.

And so, in the blink of an eye, I've gone from preparing to drive 800 miles in a day for Rangers vs Arsenal and back again, to being desperate to watch Stotfold vs Biggleswade (in a pre-season friendly I should add, not even a league game)

I gingerly mention it to my girlfriend. ‘Um, what do you think about me going to Stotfold vs Biggleswade this afternoon then meeting you all at the BBQ?’

She looks at me as if I'm mad and asks me to mow the grass, fearful that the man she loves is actually serious.

Dutifully I mow the lawn and don't say another word.

But in my mind I'm already thinking about how to get to Stevenage vs Crystal Palace next week.

@laythy29