Take our England vs Italy QUIZ!
Are you a drunken lout, ticketless cretin or genuine fan - take our quiz now!
As further dreadful stories emerge from Sunday’s chaos at Wembley the revulsion grows.
Not least about the fact that ticketless cretins scared the families of England and Italy players - with fury rising over such appallingly idiotic and anti-social behaviour.
I spent Monday shattered after such a momentous day and it’s only this morning that I have really been catching up with pals on WhatsApp who were also at Wembley on Sunday - but who I didn’t get a chance to meet due to the shambles outside.
One mate who went with son told me that his lad was utterly terrified.
Another, a pal who has served his country in the armed forces, explained that he had his coat stolen, with all his keys, cash and cards in. Due to delays caused by the post-match chaos he also missed his last train back home.
Despite all that, he ended his WhatsApp message to me: “At least we were there,” adding: “I really hope the whole country gets behind Saka and the lads.”
A true fan.
As were so many on Sunday. Even if, unfortunately, they were drowned out by the mindless, lawless minority at the game.
……..
ENGLAND VS ITALY QUIZ:
Are you a drunken lout, ticketless cretin or genuine fan?
Take our quiz to find out:
1) It is the morning of a big game. How do you gear up for the day ahead?
a) An expresso while leisurely perusing Gazetta Dello Sport
b) A fry up and the Sunday Times
c) You crack open a two litre bottle of Morrison’s own brand cider for breakfast, before getting stuck into the Sambuca’s before 9am
d) Photoshop the St George Cross onto a cr*ppy bit of A4 paper and pretend it’s a fake ticket
……………….
2) You arrive at Wembley Park at lunchtime. What do you do next?
a) Sing It’s Coming Rome
b) Think: ‘Blimey, it’s a bit lively here. I hope the authorities have got today organised…’
c) Vomit prodigiously onto a dangerously crowded concourse while letting off a flare
d) Contort all your features while singing ‘No Surrender’ as your friends push you around in a p*ss-soaked shopping trolley for ‘fun’
……….
3) You sense that while today is a huge game, the atmosphere is one of frenzy and chaos on Wembley Way. What do you do next?
a) Head to the security checks with your ticket and hope the authorities have it all in hand
b) Stick a flare up your arse and light it
c) Vomit onto your mate’s chest
d) Gather in a large menacing group and start pushing your way to the ticket checks in unison
……………..
4) The ticket and Covid checks are non-existent and the crush is getting worse on Wembley Way. What do you do next?
a) Recall the 1980s and hope for the best while desperately trying to download your ticket while tying not to be mugged
b) Vomit onto your trainers while your mate tenderly flicks diced carrot from your hair as your floppy, lifeless head gently nestles onto his shoulder
c) Scale the wall, kick down fences and make a run for the turnstiles
d) Snatch someone’s phone containing their prized and costly digital match ticket
……………….
5) UEFA have shut down the turnstiles. What do you do next?
a) Recall the 1980s and hope for the best while desperately trying to download your ticket while tying not to be mugged
b) Abuse terrified stewards prior to throwing cans at hard-pressed police
c) Gear up to rush the gates
d) Prepare to tailgate outside the turnstiles
………………
6) You finally make it inside Wembley? What do you do next?
a) & b) Take your seat in a mixture of relief and shock ready to cheer on your heroes in white or blue
c) Kick f*** out of anyone who annoys you and smack the sh*t out of any c*** that takes liberties. The c****. [Candidates will receive an extra point for singing ‘No Surrender’ at the same time]
d) Rush to find a seat that isn’t yours because you do not have a valid ticket, thereby ruining many families’ big day by forcing them to stand in the aisles in terror
For a bonus point:
e) Scare the families of England and Italian players by rushing their section and generally intimating peace-abiding fans young and old
…………..
7) Italy win a titanic clash. What do you do next?
a) Get your saxophone out while your mate sings Nessun Dorma
b) Applaud the new Euro 2020 champions while recognising the incredible job Gareth and his young diverse squad have done in lifting the spirits of the country during the pandemic after a difficult and challenging 18 months
c) Send racist abuse from you mum’s spare room because Karen won’t let you see the kids
d) Laugh about rushing the gates oblivious to the terror you have caused
……………..
How did you get on?
Mostly a’s and a few b’s (you know the ones): You are a genuine football fan from England or Italy
Mostly c’s: You’re a drunken, racist, pr*ck who has brought shame onto your country
Mostly d’s: You’re a selfish, anti-social a****hole who literally doesn’t give a flying f*** about anyone let alone young children and families
@laythy29