Ten Reasons You Know You’re Ready For Euro 2024

Euro 2024 fever is here. But do you know your Albart from your Augsburg

Ten Reasons You Know You’re Ready For Euro 2024:

1 - You’ve already put your out of office on. Until the final in Berlin on July 14.

2 - You know your Albart (the twelfth European Championship mascot) from your Skilzy (the mascot at Euro 2020)

3 - You’ve spent the time between the end of the season and this week researching every single player at Euro 2024. All 622 of them.

Random bonus points for the knowing the following:

i) Switzerland’s Nico Elvedi plays for Borussia Moenchengladbach and is nicknamed after which bird?

ii) Albania’s Berat Djimsiti speaks six languages. Name them?

iii) Croatia’s Marcelo Brozovic immensely which enjoys parlour games?

4 - You’re already bored with watching random Sky Sports News’ interviews with the some of the estimated 1.4 trillion Scotland fans that are making the trip to Germany. Including six different ‘chats’ with the slightly deranged bloke with the VW camper van who drove from Falkirk to Augsburg, most certainly in one go, judging by his wild eyes.

5 - You have already purchased ‘Lonely Planet: Germany’. And ‘When Saturday Comes’. And Four Four Two. And Football Weekends. But failed to open any of them yet. And won’t. Before quietly discarding them under your desk.

6 - You now actually have more maps of the North Rhine-Westphalia region in your home than you do of the London Underground

7 - You know the official tournament match ball is called FUSSBALLLIEBE

8 - You’ve already gone one better than that estate in south-east London by getting in the mood for a splash of colour in support of the Three Lions. By getting a tattoo of Gareth Southgate. On your back. Inked in supplication as Christ the Redeemer. Which took 16 hours. And four blood transfusions.

9 - In a bid to embrace German culture you have already started eating more potatoes as well as increasing your daily dairy intake. While sitting naked in a sauna. And taking ten minutes to answer ‘how are you’. While turning up five minutes early everywhere you go.

10 - You’ve been preparing for motoring along Germany’s famed autobahn by contorting all your features and driving at approximately 140 miles per hour to Costco this week. While listening to Kraftwerk. Before purchasing a widescreen TV the size of Bedfordshire.

Extra points go to anyone who can explain the meaning of the German phrase “Das ist mir Wurst” (Literal translation: “This is sausage to me”)

Answers:

i: (‘Eisvogel’ - Kingfisher in German.)

ii: (English, French, German, Italian, Albanian and Serbo-Croatian.)

iii: (Darts, billiards and table football - so much so that when he went house-hunting in his native Velika Gorica, he bought a property that has a large and popular bar.)

Read Layth’s Euro 2024 diary from Germany soon